The Twitching Syndrome
by BleakSituations
Summary: What happens when a certain Uchiha, no, not Itachi, gets the Twitching Syndrome? All Hell breaks out. One expected pairing that I don't want to reveal. Because I'm like that. Yaoi.
1. Sasuke's Bad Luck

**The Twitching Syndrome: A One-Time Occurrence… Maybe  
**Chapter 1: _Sasuke's Bad Luck_

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Twitching syndrome: _Noun._

: 

A disorder. Results in the twitching of any or all parts of your body and muddled thoughts filled with many profanities. Sometimes causes paralysis in parts of the body, such as the arms. Causes confusion, withdrawal from reality, illogical patterns of thinking, delusions, hallucinations, and varying degrees of other emotional, behavioral, or intellectual disturbances.

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"TEME!" The day started out normally, with Naruto's famous cry. Well… maybe not famous, but… yeah. Sasuke was starting to get annoyed with all of the attention that Naruto was giving him the past… oh was it a week? Or maybe _three damn years_? Yes… it was definitely the latter. Sasuke did his signature "Hn" and gave Naruto a glare that rivaled Uchiha Itachi's Mangekyou Sharingan, which could be pretty scary. Naruto looked taken aback as he flinched noticeably.

It was morning. The time a certain Uchiha (no, _not_ Itachi) was in a very, _very_ bad mood. It wasn't exactly his fault, either. The night before, life seemed to hate him. Probably because of his goals. Killing and sex? Never a good mix. Anyway, back to the subject at hand. It hadn't been a good night at all. First, as he was going to take a shower, his water pipe… things broke and he wasn't able to take a warm shower, instead having to go into the forest and take his bath in the nearby lake. The one with the waterfall. He was _sure_ that someone had been watching him, but he didn't sense anyone around, so he blew it off as his own paranoia. He continued to take his cold… bath? And when he was finished, he left the clearing wearing his dark blue yukata, still feeling as though he was being watched.

Then, for the first time in years, he couldn't fall asleep. His feeling of being watched had gone away hours before, right after he had gotten inside his house, so it couldn't be that. He shrugged and then lay back in his bed staring at the light on his ceiling, which was currently off. Just like the day when he had seen his brother using his Mangekyou Sharingan for the first time. He remembered his feelings. He was scared, he was amazed, he was confused, and he was… he didn't know what he was. His feelings were all meshed together. Now, he was an avenger. He was hateful, he was angry, he was still confused, and he still didn't know what he was. He sighed and took a deep breath, still staring at the ceiling, seeing his brother's face. He glared at it and it went away. Just like that. He wished it were that easy. And then, he fell into fitful sleep.

He woke up that morning to find that he had slept most of the night and had a very disturbing-in-a-good-way dream. He didn't remember it. He wished he had, but he had no such luck. He walked quietly to his bathroom, and dug through his cabinet, finding his hair gel. It was empty. He cursed and said muttered something about how he didn't want to have to go buy any. So instead, he used his always-trusty Henge no Jutsu… and it worked. He smirked and thought _I knew _something_ had to go right_. This thought, however, was pushed to the back of his head when he looked at the time. _Damn. I'm usually _there _by now. At this rate, even the _dobe_ will be there before I am._ He cursed mentally as he used his ever-so-trusty super-ninja speed. He got to the other side of town within minutes, barely breathing hard (man, I wish _I_ could do that). He was the first one there, as usual.

Several minutes later, Sakura arrived. He cursed his bad luck (mentally of course… not out loud). Usually (ever since Sasuke had come back from Sound), the dobe would be the second to arrive. She immediately started pestering him, seemingly without noticing she was. "Hello Sasuke-kun," it started with that. God damn "hello's" why couldn't there be _no_ greetings at all. It would be so bloody helpful. He hated boys… but he hated girls _more_. He completely ignored her and continued to stare down into the water, as usual. But this time, instead of giving up as she usually would, Sakura came up behind him and hugged him. She _hugged _him. She hugged _him_. _She _hugged him. _She_ hugged_ him_. He glared at her and wrestled out of her grip, jumping up to the pillar-type structure where Kakashi would sometimes make his entrance. He glared more as he stood where he was. The dobe chose this moment to arrive… which brings us to what is happening now.

"TEME!" Naruto yelled, running toward them, waving. Sasuke glared. He was having a _horrible_ night-and-day as it was. Naruto had just made it worse. Naruto flinched and edged around to the railing of the bridge. He stood there for a full minute, just staring at Sasuke. Then, he turned around, sat down on the railing, and stared into space. Sakura blinked and Sasuke just turned his head away, his eye twitching. Sakura then turned to him and began squealing (like a pig –big grin- sorry… I don't like her much). "Sasuke-kun will you go out with me?" He grunted out a "No" his head still turned in a different direction, and she looked down crestfallen before going to the other side of the bridge and doing the same as Naruto.

Sasuke's eye continued to twitch. _What the hell is up with those two today? AND MY EYE! _It continued to twitch, and he sat down in the middle of the pillars. He glared at the trees in the forest, finding himself suddenly calm, even as his eye continued to twitch. It was his right eye, too. _Damn eye. STOP TWITCHING. _But for some reason, his "damn eye" would not stop twitching. He wanted to glare at it, but then he realized it would be very difficult to glare at something… like… his eye, which did the actual glaring. So he would be glaring with the thing doing the glaring at the thing doing the glaring. Wow… he was confused. His brain was spinning. If that's possible. He didn't want to think about it. But he did anyway. He shook his head. _Not. Going. There._ But he went there anyway. So your brain spins, which means your eyes spin, which means everything connected to your brain will spin and your nerves will be somewhere in your head which means your brain will be by your toes? _I'm **so** goddamn confused,_ he thought, his eyes closing. He opened them again, his right eye still twitching.

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Ok so this was originally one whole story. But before I had even finished it, it was up to around 2026 words long and on the fourth page. So I'm splitting it up to make it more readable. 


	2. Black Boxers With White Hearts?

**The Twitching Syndrome**  
Chapter 2: _Black Boxers with White Hearts?_

That was when Kakashi decided to make his entrance. Right where Sasuke was sitting. His sensei ran into him as he was sitting there pondering what happened when your brain spins and why his eye was twitching and maybe, _maybe,_ the meaning of life. You never know. This surprised Sasuke so much, that, as they were toppling down from the red pillar-like thing, his jutsu came undone. His hair, now long and just like Itachi's, was let loose. Oh, how he hated Itachi, and so did Kakashi. So when Kakashi saw a "miniature Itachi" lying under him (Sounds. So. Wrong.), he immediately pulled out a kunai and put it to his neck. Sasuke cursed colorfully and spoke to his teacher, "Would you kill your own student, Kakashi-sensei?" At the sound of Sasuke's voice, his teacher relaxed his grip and got off his student (Sounds. _So_. Wrong.) Sasuke cursed his luck… how he cursed it. _Damn luck. Why **today** of all days. The one day I was actually looking forward to. Wait… why was I looking forward to it? I wonder. Oh well. The point is, I was **so** looking forward today, and this is what I get. DAMN TWITCHING EYE._ Sasuke was having an internal battle, alright. They all stared at him, seeing as he was still lying on the ground, glaring at the sky.

After staring at the sky for quite a while, he got up and dusted himself off. At least his teacher hadn't knocked him into- oh damn, he had. Now he was all dusty. He growled… and patted his butt, trying to get rid of the dust on it. Then he did the same to his back. And then, and _only _then, he remembered his hair, and quickly used Henge no Jutsu to fix it, forgetting that his eye was twitching. When he was done, he turned around and watched his teammates as they watched him. A staring contest ensued. Sasuke was always good at staring contests, therefore, he liked them. Simple logic. He ended up staring at them for a good 3 minutes, them giving out long before that. He then blinked once, twice, and realized that his eye was continuing to twitch. _Damn. I forgot my eye was twitching._ Then: _Why do I only say damn? Why not fuck, or shit? Or any of the millions of obscenities that I know? Well… whatever._ The other three stared at him, as he was obviously in his own little world.

They all continued walking, Sasuke lagging behind. They then heard a very loud "thunk". They turned around and gasped. Sasuke had run into a tree. _Sasuke_ had run into a _tree_. Sasuke had _run_ into a _tree_. Sasuke had run into a _tree_. _Sasuke_ had _run_ into a _tree_. _Sasuke_ had run into a tree. Sasuke had run _into_ a tree. _Sasuke_ had run _into_ a _tree_. _Sasuke _had _run into_ a _tree_. Sasuke had run_ into_ a _tree_. Sasuke had _run into_ a _tree_. Sasuke had _run into_ a tree. They gaped like fish fresh out of the water. He lay there for a moment, before cursing out loud and getting to his feet. He was _so_ out of it. And his eye was twitching. That was _never_ a good sign.

The day dragged on slowly. Sasuke began to lose feeling in his left arm. Kakashi had noticed this and ordered him to go sit by the sidelines. He frowned and glared at the man, and reluctantly went to sit next to a tree. The other two just stared worriedly at him, before continuing with their training. _This godforsaken world hates me. It _hates_ me. It hates me so much… it's just…GRRR. _He sighed and his thoughts continued. _Why me? WHY ME GOD DAMN IT! WHAT THE HELL DID I EVER—oh! It's all because of Orochimaru, isn't it? That bastard. That pedophilic God damn bloody bastard. You hate me because of that, don't you? Well, I hate you back, world! Oh… God… did I just… think that? _His twitching doubled. No one noticed. Then, his right arm, the one that had previously been working began to twitch. Sasuke noticed. _You really hate me, don't you? Damn. You **really** hate me… don't you?_ Then, Sasuke did the most unexpected thing ever. He cried. Everyone stopped and looked at him.

"Kakashi-sensei? I think there's something wrong with Sasuke…" Sakura trailed off. Naruto was staring, his eyes almost popping out of his head. Kakashi slowly nodded his head and sighed. "We'd better get him to a hospital…" he trailed off as suddenly, Sasuke had gone missing. Naruto cursed, Kakashi shook his head slowly, and Sakura smacked Naruto for his "use of obscenities" although he had only said "Fuck."

Sasuke had snuck off as soon as he had heard Kakashi say the word "hospital". Oh how he hated that word. He was now at home, lying on his bed. He was planning on getting some sleep, but he realized that they could drag him off to the hospital if he was asleep, so he sat there, alert and at the ready. Then he was seeing things. The world was spinning, there were black blobs everywhere and then it all stopped. He was in his room. He blinked. There standing in front of him wearing nothing but black boxers with white hearts on them was…

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And there's part 2! With a MAJOR cliffhanger. Muahaha… 'cause I'm evil like that. 


	3. The Cure

**The Twitching Syndrome**  
Chapter 3: _The Cure_

Neji. Sasuke's world stopped. He blinked and blinked and blinked, but the image didn't go away. Neji was staring at Sasuke as one would a lover. Sasuke took this opportunity to look the older boy over. He had a gorgeous stature. He was lean, but had a lot of muscle and his legs… oh, his legs. Sasuke was sure he was drooling and blushing. But since when had Sasuke been into boys? He didn't know, and he didn't care to know. All he knew was that there was a half-naked Neji standing in front of him and man, did he like it. The white-eyed boy came forward, barely within reach, and stopped. Sasuke looked up at him with eyes that begged for him to come closer, to touch him, to hold him, to… dare he say it, take him. Sasuke blushed a deep red, almost as dark as Gaara's hair (and _damn_ is that a dark red).

Sasuke leaned backward on his bed, lying down. His eyes almost begging the older boy to lay down with him. Said boy walked forward a bit, before stopping, right out of arms reach. Sasuke whimpered. He _always_ got what he wanted, because he _hated_ not getting it. And man, did he want Neji. So, Sasuke made it his new-found goal to get the white-eyed hottie (so dubbed by almost every fangirl ever and by Sasuke in this story).

Suddenly, there was a knocking at the door. Sasuke almost fell off his bed and Neji disappeared. Sasuke growled and then stalked toward his door, after taking a quick look around his room for any signs of his white-eyed hottie. _Since when was he mine?_ He wondered, but left that thought alone. He liked how those words tasted on his mouth. His white-eyed hottie. Neji. Now _that_ was an even better taste on his mouth (figuratively speaking of course). The knocking became more insistent and he scowled, quickly walking down the stairs and slamming the door open (now _that's _an oxymoron).

There, standing in front of him, was team seven in _all_ their glory (note the sarcasm). Kakashi had his fist up to knock again, Sakura had a very concerned look on her face, and Naruto was picking his nose. Sasuke rolled his eyes. "What do you want? I don't feel well, make this quick." His eye was still twitching.

They stared at him.

He stared back.

They stared at him.

He stared back.

They stared at him.

He stared back.

They stared at him… and Naruto farted.

He slammed the door.

They knocked.

He ignored them and went to sit on his couch.

They knocked harder.

He turned on the TV.

They knocked _harder_.

He sighed and changed the channel.

They broke down the door.

He jumped up and went to go kick their asses, completely forgetting that Kakashi was with them. _Damn_.

All three of them jumped him (Sounds. _So_. _So_. Wrong.) and tied him up, carrying him up to his room. The TV lay forgotten, as they hurriedly ran to his room, MTV's Real World playing for the empty room. The poor, _poor_ TV.

Sasuke struggled fruitlessly as they put him on his bed. And then there was Neji. Wearing clothes. _Damn._ And he was smiling. Sasuke almost melted. _Almost._ He had enough dignity left to know when to melt and when not to, and this was most certainly a time to _not_ melt. Then there was another Neji. He was glaring, before he suddenly smiled. A hidden smile. Sasuke found himself wanting to smile. But then he was confused. Why were there two Nejis? Then suddenly, there was a third. This one was smiling, and then he glared. A hidden glare. Sasuke shivered. He definitely didn't like _that_ Neji. But it confused him more. Why were there three Nejis? Sasuke let slip Neji's name in a soft whisper. Kakashi paused. Suddenly, Kakashi ordered Sakura to do something that surprised all three of them.

"Sakura… go get Neji for me, would you? Tell him it's top-priority. It's around 5 now, so he should be at the training grounds." Sakura was surprised he had asked her, Naruto was surprised he hadn't asked him, and Sasuke was surprised since there were already three Nejis standing around his bed. This brought him back to the matter at hand. Why were there three Nejis? Sasuke had given them names… well sort of. The first Neji was smiley-smiley, and it was kind of creepy how he smiled so much. He was wearing a dark grey shirt and black pants. His clothes did not match his personality. The second Neji was called glarey-smiley, and he was the best one of them, or so Sasuke thought. This one was wearing a light blue shirt with black shorts. And finally, the last Neji was smiley-glarey, and he just plain creeped out poor Sasuke. This one was wearing a dark grey shirt and white pants. There was another Neji coming? He _really_ wanted to see this one.

The last one came in after a flushed Sakura, who was catching her breath. He was glaring. Just… glaring. No smiling, whatsoever. Sasuke officially dubbed him glarey-glarey Neji. He was wearing an off-white shirt and brown shorts. He was hot, but the glaring was a total turn-off. Sasuke decided that he liked the glarey-smiley Neji. The other two disappeared, but the glarey-glarey Neji was still there, glaring. Sasuke rolled his eyes and asked his question.

"What are you doing here?" Kakashi looked at him, surprised. Surely the boy had wanted the Hyuuga here. He _had_ called for him, however softly. The real Neji was wondering the same thing. His glare softened a little bit, his face fading to a blank look (_So is he now glarey-blankey?_ Sasuke wondered vaguely).

"Yes, I would like to know the same thing. What _am_ I doing here?" Sasuke blinked quickly and in succession. _So he doesn't know what he's doing here, either? Then why is he here? _He wondered, turning his glare to Kakashi. Kakashi shrugged and looked back at Neji, thinking. Then, as if struck by lightning, he walked over to the Hyuuga and whispered something in his ear. Neji sputtered.

"No _way_ am I doing _that_!" he said, glaring at the older man. Kakashi had a begging look in his eye (since his other is covered).

"Please, Neji? We need to snap him out of it. Look! His eye is still twitching. So is his arm! And it looks like his left arm is paralyzed. This has gotten out of hand."

The Hyuuga sighed and stared at Sasuke a bit before nodding once. "Just… leave. I don't want to have to do _that_ while everyone is here."

"Oh, no… that isn't everyone." Kakashi said vaguely, gesturing to Naruto and Sakura. Neji glared.

"Leave or I won't do anything you tell me to do," he stated in a deadly calm. Kakashi sighed and started to usher his team, with the exception of Sasuke, out the door. The "glarey-glarey Neji" remained. Sasuke turned his gaze to this boy, who seemed to be having an internal battle. Finally, sighing, he walked over to where Sasuke was lying on the bed. He leaned down a bit, before pulling back. Emotions flitted over his face, too fast for Sasuke to notice what they were, before he bent down all the way and kissed Sasuke full on the lips. Sasuke was surprised. He gasped and Neji took that chance to slide his tongue into the younger boy's mouth. Then he climbed on the bed and straddled Sasuke. Sasuke was embarrassed, to say the least. He squirmed a bit, under the Hyuuga.

Neji took this as his cue to stop and quickly sat up, noting that the Uchiha's eye had stopped twitching, although his arm was still going. He sighed and kissed the Uchiha again, this time with much more passion. This pulled Sasuke farther and farther from his disorder and soon he was back to normal—except for the fact that he was kissing the Hyuuga back, and moaning softly. But hey! Who could blame him? Certainly not I.

Neji pulled away slowly and whispered something quietly in the Uchiha's ear. Sasuke smiled and nodded. He _liked_ this Neji. Then the Hyuuga got off Sasuke's bed and went to open the door. There, standing out in the hall, were Sakura, Naruto, and Kakashi. They weren't eavesdropping. Oh, no (note the sarcasm). They just had their ears pressed against the door, falling when the door was opened by Neji. He raised an eyebrow and told them that Sasuke was fine now and just needed some rest and that they should leave. They all nodded and everyone left. Sasuke smiled, remembering the words that the Hyuuga had whispered in his ear.

"_We'll continue this later, ne, Sas-uke-chan?_" and with a feral grin, he sat up in his bed and walked to the back door, where a very disgruntled Hyuuga was waiting. He opened the door quickly and pulled the older boy in. They barely made it to Sasuke's room before they started making out.

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Twitching syndrome: _Noun._

: 

A disorder. Results in the twitching of any or all parts of your body and muddled thoughts filled with many profanities. Sometimes causes paralysis in parts of the body, such as the arms. Causes confusion, withdrawal from reality, illogical patterns of thinking, delusions, and hallucinations, and varying degrees of other emotional, behavioral, or intellectual disturbances.

**Cures**:

True love's first kiss.

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And that's the end! I hope you enjoyed my story. This is my first Naruto fic… so I hope it's alright - Please message me if you have any comments or review, if you like.


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